The Barefoot Barmaid (Belles & Bullets Book 1) Read online

  19

  Kitt spent the next few days in a painful cycle of tedium. Every morning she would wake up, eat breakfast, and wonder what to do with the rest of her time. The handmaidens always insisted on dressing her, but Kitt insisted on dressing herself. And she always chose the simplest, most comfortable clothes in Lyneah's closet. After her first week in the castle, she was getting used to wearing pretty gowns. Even so, she still missed her breeches.

  The castle was huge, and it took her days to explore every room. She found a portrait of Lyneah in the study, at which time she could see their uncanny resemblance for herself. Standing in front of the princess' portrait was a bit like gazing into a looking glass. It was as if Kitt had sat for the portrait herself, but didn't remember doing it.

  Trips to the kitchen became part of Kitt's daily ritual, because the smiling cooks would give her fresh baked sweets. She couldn't get used to people bowing everywhere she went, and she didn't particularly enjoy the attention. When she was in Lundun, she could blend into the background, and she had a clear purpose. In the castle, everything was backward. People were tripping over themselves to serve her, and she had no responsibilities beyond breathing.

  Kitt was desperate for a companion, and Barnabus was the only friend she had, so she took him into the garden. When the dog started chewing on some flowers, she saw a pained expression on one of the gardeners' faces. Kitt called the rascal back to her and held him on her lap. He looked eager to explore his new surroundings, but she held onto him—at least until the unhappy gardener was elsewhere.

  “Look at the sky, Barnabus. So many clouds.” Kitt stroked the dog's head as she watched the nebulous masses passing over them. “Do you miss it up there? In the sky? On the airship?”

  Barnabus tilted his head as he studied her face. He looked as though he wanted to ask her a question himself.

  “You know, I never thought I'd say this, but I almost miss the airship too,” Kitt whispered. “At least it felt like an adventure. Here at the castle... everything is so boring. Of course, if I could choose where to go, I would go home. To Lundun. Obviously.”

  Kitt sighed. In truth, it was difficult to imagine going back to her ordinary life after everything she had been through. She missed her friends, and especially Tobias, but it was getting more and more difficult to imagine herself in the role of a barefoot barmaid.

  Barnabus nuzzled his face against her arm and licked the palm of her hand. As she scratched his head, she said to him, “I don't know... it looks like it might rain, don't you think? Some of the clouds are looking a bit gray. Perhaps we should get out of here before it rains?” When she heard Barnabus whimper, she picked him up and held him close to her face. As he feverishly tried to lick her chin, she said, “No? You don't like to be cooped up in the castle either? Alright. We can stay here a little bit longer.”

  She was talking to a dog. She must have been going mad.

  When the disapproving gardener was nowhere to be seen, Kitt opted to let Barnabus run amok. As soon as she released him, the small brown terrier sniffed around the garden with renewed purpose. After a moment, he barked loudly and sprinted in the direction of an approaching knight.

  Kitt's heart missed a beat when she realized who was approaching. It was Roderick. She hadn't seen him since she broke up with him, but his eyes looked just as sad as they did that night. Kitt felt horrible about breaking his heart—after all, he wasn't even her paramour, he was the princess'. But she did not regret her decision in the least. Living in the castle was uncomfortable enough without the added awkwardness of dodging kisses from someone else's beau each time he crossed her path.

  “Your Highness,” Roderick met her with a bow. Compared to the way he was before, his greeting was painfully devoid of emotion.

  “R-Roderick...” Kitt's hands immediately started fidgeting on her lap. “It's... good to see you. You look well.” And she wasn't lying. Seeing his black curls tousled by the wind was an adorable and fetching sight.

  “And you look as lovely as ever, Princess Lyneah.” Barnabus was sniffing around Roderick's legs, so he reached down to scratch the dog's head. “I apologize if my compliment makes you uncomfortable.”

  “What? No! Why in the world would it make me uncomfortable?”

  “Well...” Roderick kept his eyes on the dog, because it was still too painful to look at the woman he had loved and lost. “I thought you made it very clear that you wanted nothing else to do with me. Perhaps you don't want to hear any more sweet words from me.”

  “You're mistaken, Roderick. I never said I wanted nothing to do with you. In fact, I...” Kitt hesitated to finish her thought. She didn't want to give him false hope. “I... I am almost relieved to see you.” Though she scarcely knew him, he was one of the only people in the castle who wasn't a complete stranger.

  “Would you take a turn around the garden with me?” As Roderick asked the question, he still refused to meet her gaze. “Do not feel obligated to accept, but... I would very much like your company.”

  He had barely finished the question before Kitt sprang from the bench. Perhaps it made her look overeager, but she didn't care. She craved companionship more than she cared about her pride. “Of course. Lead the way.”

  Roderick took her by the arm and led her along the cobbled path. Between bouts of chasing bugs, Barnabus followed. At one point, Kitt saw him creeping too close to some rosebushes. She didn't want him to end up with a face full of thorns, so she called him back to her side, and he happily obeyed.

  “I must confess, I'm a bit surprised to see you with a dog,” Roderick told her.

  “Really? Why is that?”

  “I never thought you were a fan of dogs. I thought you were more of a cat person. In fact, I have a very distinct memory of you telling me that dogs were more trouble than they're worth.”

  “Did I say that?” Kitt chuckled nervously. Every day, she learned something new about Princess Lyneah. “Well, you're mistaken. I like cats and dogs.”

  “No. Truly. You never liked dogs before,” Roderick insisted. “But I'm glad you've changed your mind.”

  The next few minutes were filled with silence, during which Kitt was lost in her thoughts. Her resemblance to the princess was so uncanny, she even managed to trick Lyneah's lover: that fact never ceased to amaze her. She was even starting to wonder if she was the princess' long lost twin, but the idea ultimately seemed ridiculous, as she was fairly certain she was her father's daughter.

  Kitt desperately wanted to leave the castle. It was a pretty prison, but a prison nonetheless. She was forced to live someone's else's life, forced to exist in a role she never wanted. Every time she remembered that, she always felt like a fool for missing Doon.

  Roderick suddenly spoke, shaking her from her reverie. “A penny for your thoughts.”

  “And where is the penny?” Kitt asked with a chuckle. When he pulled a coin from his pocket and presented it to her, Kitt was impressed. Then she realized she couldn't tell him what was actually on her mind, so she had to make up something else. “I was thinking about... um... your freckles.” Her answer was as unexpected for her as it was for him.

  Roderick chuckled at the thought. “My freckles?”

  “Yes. Your freckles. I like them!” Kitt exclaimed. “One could spend a lifetime counting them, and it still wouldn't be enough time.”

  “Once, I had hoped you would want to spend the rest of your life counting them.” Roderick kicked a pebble on the path as they walked. “Looking back, I guess that was rather foolish of me. You're a princess and I'm a... a nobody.”

  “Oh please... don't say that.” Kitt was wincing at his words. She barely knew him, and yet she had somehow broken his heart. It was such an awkward situation to be in. “I don't want to hear you belittle yourself, Roderick.”

  “Nevertheless, I should have known my joy would end as soon as your engagement to Prince Malik was announced. I should have prepared myself. I'm sure it's no coincidence that you ended our rela
tionship as soon as he arrived.” Under his breath, Roderick added, “even though I think the prince is a complete and utter ass...”

  “Believe me, I don't care about Malik. I think he's vain, arrogant, self-centered and cold.”

  “Then why must you stay with him?”

  Kitt simply shrugged. If Princess Lyneah wanted out of her own engagement, that was her battle to fight, not Kitt's.

  “I wish you never left the castle.” Roderick started to reach for her hand, but his arm dropped to his side before he touched her. “If I could have had just one more week with you... or even just one more day...”

  “Roderick.” Kitt uttered his name with a sigh. She had never seen a man look more distraught in her life. If only there was a way to ease his suffering!

  “I miss you terribly,” Roderick told her. “The ache in my heart won't go away. I thought it would be easier, but it's not. I don't think it ever shall. I wake up each morning, and all I want to do is see your face. I desperately want to touch your hair and kiss your lips. I want to feel your skin against mine. I want to watch the gentle rise of your breaths as you sleep. I just want to be near you. I want to spend the rest of my life adoring you.”

  Kitt could feel her cheeks blushing furiously. Even though his words were meant for someone else, her heart started beating harder as she listened to his speech.

  “Perhaps I shall simply adore you from afar. There is no harm in that, is there?” Roderick went on. “Honestly, though, I struggle to imagine you with a boy like Malik. Did you know he's exactly ten years younger than I am? He's barely more than a child.”

  Kitt nodded her head at that. As long as Malik had a whipping boy, it would be impossible for him to grow up.

  “I love you, Lyneah.” At long last, Roderick finally reached for her hand. He raised it to his lips and brushed a kiss across her knuckles. “You can ask me to stay away, but you could never ask me to stop loving you. I shall love you for the rest of my days.”

  “I...” Kitt caught her bottom lip between her teeth before she said another word. For the last few days, she had been desperately wanting an ally. She wanted to unburden herself to someone—anyone. She wanted to share her heart's conflict. Maybe she could end Roderick's suffering at the same time?

  “Did you want to say something?” Roderick asked. “Were you going to tell me you love me too?”

  “I... I don't know what I...” Kitt felt a claw of dread gripping her stomach as the words fought their way out of her mouth.

  “What is it, darling?” Roderick brushed a finger across her cheek. “You suddenly look so troubled.”

  And then she said it. As soon as she did, she regretted it.

  “I'm... I'm not Princess Lyneah.”

  20

  Roderick stared at her in stunned silence for what felt like an eternity. He was so quiet, Kitt could hear the soft rustling of wind, tousling the nearby flowers. At long last, he finally spoke. “I'm afraid you will have to explain what you mean.”

  “I'm not Lyneah,” Kitt repeated. “My name is Catherine Lake. I'm just a barmaid in Lundun. Captain Doon thought I was Princess Lyneah, so he grabbed me against my will and dragged me to the castle.”

  “Catherine... Lake.” Roderick tilted his head as he whispered the name. “If this is true... and I do have my doubts... why are you impersonating the princess?”

  Kitt could feel a bit of her tension subsiding. When she confessed the truth, a part of her was afraid he would arrest her on the spot. “It wasn't my choice. Many times, I tried to explain to Doon that I wasn't Princess Lyneah. For the longest time, he didn't believe me. I'm not entirely certain he believes me even now. My resemblance to the princess is apparently so uncanny, no one even questioned it. And once I was brought to the castle, Doon tried to tell me I'd be executed if I told anyone the truth about who I am.”

  “Doon is a bastard, but he might be right about that,” Roderick said. “Impersonating the princess would be viewed as a heinous crime, even if it wasn't your choice. You might very well face execution... or, at the very least, a harsh prison sentence.”

  Kitt suddenly felt her stomach turning. The way Roderick said it, he made it sound like an execution was surely in her future. “Do you think I should be executed?”

  Kitt's heart hammered as she awaited his answer. She hated to hear him hesitate. The fact that he had to think about it made her sad. After a long pause, he finally answered. “No. No, I'd hate to see that happen.”

  “You believe me, don't you?” Kitt was desperate to have someone on her side, and she believed Roderick's support could be invaluable. “You believe I'm not the princess?”

  “I have no reason to doubt you.” Roderick heaved a weary sigh as he answered her.

  “Thank goodness!” She could tell he wasn't happy with her, but at least he wasn't against her. “It took me ages to convince Captain Doon!”

  “Now that I'm looking at you more closely...” Roderick lightly tapped her neck. “Princess Lyneah doesn't have a large freckle right here. And your noses are slightly different. I'm a bit disappointed I didn't see it before, actually.” His eyes narrowed as he examined her face. “So... yes. I believe you.”

  “Do you hate me?”

  “Why would I hate you, Miss Lake?” Roderick asked. “If anything, I'm a bit relieved. If you aren't Lyneah, then Lyneah hasn't discarded me. Although... if you exist, that means she's still missing, and I am more than a bit troubled by that fact.”

  Kitt was tempted to fling her arms around Roderick and thank him for not condemning her, but she didn't think it would be appropriate while he was worried about the princess. Kitt found it difficult to share in his concern. Though she felt cruel for thinking it, she was glad the princess was still lost. If Lyneah returned while Kitt was pretending to be her, it would be disastrous.

  “Are you...” Kitt nibbled on her lower lip as she hesitated. “Are you going to turn me in?”

  “Of course not. You practically have the same face as Lyneah, and I would not want to see it hurt. However, if Queen Loreina thinks you've returned, she has no reason to continue the search for Lyneah. I suppose I will have to relaunch the search on my own.”

  “Roderick...” There was a clap of thunder in the sky as soon as she said his name. “Thank you for not throwing me in prison. Believe me, none of this was my choice. Everything that's happened to me is entirely the fault of Captain Doon.”

  “I agree with you. If and when the truth comes to light, I will see him punished accordingly.”

  “I'll probably be punished too,” Kitt added with a sigh.

  “No.” Roderick's hand was slowly approaching Kitt's face. When he finally touched her cheek, he only held it there for a moment. “If the time comes, I will fight for you if I must. As I said, I would not want to see you hurt.”

  “Th-thank you.” Kitt turned her eyes to the ground as she thanked him. She didn't want him to see her blushing. “I wasn't sure how you'd react to all of this, but I'm glad you're being kind. I cannot begin to tell you what a relief it is.” Tears were building in Kitt's eyes as she spoke. In her mind, she prayed they wouldn't fall.

  “Your secret is safe with me, my lady... at least until Lyneah returns,” Roderick assured her. “When that day comes, I will convince her to vouch for you. Because I do, in some ways, feel sorry for you. I'm upset that you lied to me for so long, but I believe I can understand why you did.”

  Kitt didn't say anything, she just closed her eyes and sighed. She wondered if she would be so forgiving if she was in his shoes, but she very much doubted that she would. While her eyes were closed, Kitt felt a misty rain tickling her cheeks. Apparently, the dark clouds were finally passing over them.

  When her eyes opened, Kitt chuckled and said, “I'm sorry I broke up with you.”

  Roderick smiled at her remark. To see him smiling again was a relief. “I can understand that too! It shames me to think I had my paws all over you. You must have been so horrified.”

&nbs
p; “I suppose I might have been more horrified if not for the fact that I find you ridiculously handsome.” Kitt could feel herself blushing again, but she didn't care to hide it this time. “Perhaps that makes me shallow, but I don't care. I've never been kissed my someone so handsome before. So, as strange as it was to have your paws all over me, a part of me thought the attention was somewhat... pleasant.”

  “Oh my...” Roderick was blushing with her, but it was difficult to see his crimson cheeks under all his freckles. “I'm afraid you've rendered me quite speechless.”

  “I think, perhaps, I've rendered myself speechless as well!” The noise that erupted from Kitt's throat sounded suspiciously like a giggle. But Kitt never giggled. What on earth was wrong with her?

  A peal of thunder suddenly ripped the sky, and shortly after, they heard a scream. Then one scream turned into a cacophony of screams, each one getting louder and louder. When Kitt realized what she was hearing, her stomach clenched in disgust.

  “I think it's the whipping boy,” Kitt told Roderick, then she dashed down the garden path in search of the unfortunate victim. It didn't take her long to find them. Prince Malik was standing between two knights, and his father hovered over the whipping boy with a cudgel in his hand. Kitt winced when he brought down the cudgel, splitting the young boy's forehead.

  “This is merciless!” Kitt screamed. She started to run toward them, but Roderick grabbed her arm and held her back. “Must you hit him in the head? How dare you!”

  “Miss Lake, don't get involved,” Roderick whispered in her ear. Though it was probably good advice, she couldn't bear to look the other way when something so sickening was happening right in front of her.

  “How could you!” Kitt wailed, ignoring Roderick's recommendation. As long as everyone thought she was Princess Lyneah, why shouldn't she try to use her influence to change an obvious injustice? “Prince Malik, why don't you stop it? LOOK at him!” She pointed at the whipping boy. He was on his knees, moaning helplessly as a trickle of blood scuttled down the side of his face.